dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
