Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I am naked and annoyed.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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