happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
