My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
