new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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