Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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