You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
