Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
