six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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