You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
