am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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