took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
