everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
