I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
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Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
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It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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