apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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