why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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