i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
