Sponge bath it is.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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