If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i now understand why vodka
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
