Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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