On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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