I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
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