so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
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