Will you blow on my dice?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
