I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
