The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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