Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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