I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
