I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
