Too much gin, very little bucket
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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