It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize