K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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