...so i touched it.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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