All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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