At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
