so explain again why im purple
no
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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