Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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