easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
