haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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