I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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