Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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