I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
