does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Damn victory sex feels great
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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