He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
