i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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