Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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