Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize