everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
