Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
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I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
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forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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