What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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