i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
