AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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