Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
