People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
