Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Its about making memories worth repressing
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
