Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
