Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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