I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize