john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
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Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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