New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
