Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
only if we run a train.
done.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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