Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I don't think brook has ever known best
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
