whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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