redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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