summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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