The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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