i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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