I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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