sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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