fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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