That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm like, not good at living.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
