just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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